Life of a Dancing Engineer

My interpretation of Lyrical is that it is all about dancing without formal rules, guided by an emotional connection to the music and or the lyrics – so if the piece being danced to doesn’t touch the dancer, then the performance has no basis, no substance, and no authenticity.

I must confess, am quickly falling in love with lyrical. Technically speaking, my dancing fundamentals (ballet/modern/jazz/etc.) have a really long way to go, but I feel myself improving quickly, and more importantly, I feel myself really being moved by the music during each class and getting into the emotion of the dance… it’s a dance form that (as intended) speaks to my heart (by allowing my heart to speak!), and I feel it pulling me in like gravity!

To wit, I woke up yesterday, heard the Imogen Heap song we had been dancing to during our last class, and I instantly wanted to dance to it. I tried for a moment, in the ~3ftx3ft of open floor space I have in my tiny room, to just feel some of the moves without really traveling, and I just ached to get myself out on a dance floor where I could have the space to travel, to feel the music, and surrender my body to my emotions – to let them play a scene through me.

Listening to another one of Imogen’s songs from the YouTube related videos, I began to feel a different story, and I craved to dance it as well!

I don’t find it a coincidence that the teacher picked one of Imogen’s songs for our class, or that I instantly felt something to dance to from each one of her songs the first time I heard them. I feel that more than for many popular artists, Imogen uses her voice as much for lyrics as she uses it for the music. To me, it is as if instrumental versions of her songs would sound unambiguously incomplete without her voice. I feel that she intertwines lyrics, music, and emotion in a way that flows right past my ears and straight to my heart.

Here is the song that my lyrical teacher chose for the piece we danced on Friday… Imogen Heap – Just For Now:

And here is the song I listened to by clicking on the YouTube related videos… Imogen Heap – Goodnight And Go:

I wonder if any of you readers felt the same kind of emotional connection I felt when listening to these songs? Do you like Imogen Heap as much as I do? I have one friend who find’s her music ‘grating’ and completely against his taste… I wonder how many others feel that way? In any case, her music touches me, which is all that matters when I’m dancing to it! 🙂

Now that I’ve written this post, and listened to both of these songs a few more times, I’m just dying to dance! I wish I had a dance floor in my apartment!!! It’s definitely something I’ll look for the next time I move! 🙂 For now, I’ll just have to contain my excitement until I get back onto the dance floors tomorrow – and to my next lyrical class on Friday!

Dear Diary,

I had a wonderful time tonight!

I had a private with Anatoli, which went very well. I told myself before the lesson to not care about doing well, but to just go dance and have fun. To ‘Just Do It!‘ And for the most part, it worked. I danced *much* better than last week – I did tense up at times, but overall, I was much more able to move, and follow well because I was relaxed and not concerned with being perfect. Nobody is perfect, and the harder I try to be perfect, the worse I dance. I dance best when I’m relaxed and allowing my body to do it’s job without my brain getting in the way.

After our private, I stayed for Anatoli’s advanced group class. I had a lot of fun! I came into the class with absolutely no knowledge of the routine, which was an Open Waltz, but I just followed, and it came naturally, with the exception of what I would later learn was called the tumble turn – where I slightly misstepped during the first couple of times through, but eventually, somehow, my body figured out how to follow it correctly (it wasn’t demonstrated). Later, during the technique part of the class, Anatoli used me to demonstrate things to the class, which was neat! I guess I enjoy being a test subject 🙂

At one point, Anatoli asked one of the other leaders to try the routine with me, saying that it would be a great test of his leading skills, since I didn’t know the routine! It was, and he did really well – even leading me successfully through that crazy tumble turn, despite my being several inches taller than him! I praised him several times after class for that – since I couldn’t begin to tell somebody what that step involved or how to do it, and I’d have no idea how to do it on my own, but his lead led the way through it!

It occurs to me as I write this how much better I danced tonight than I have in most of the last month – I don’t mean technically, I mean that I was really present tonight. I think the ingredients were relaxation, positive feedback, the self confidence boost from the positive feedback, and the elation I felt from both having tons of fun and doing well. Now I just need to bake this same pie during all my lessons!

After the classes, I practiced a bit with the aforementioned leader, and then we got to chatting. Once Anatoli and Irina were done practicing, they joined in on the conversation, and we all ended up chatting together and having a great time, including eating really amazing Russian candies that Irina grew up loving, until after midnight when we finally realized what time it was and decided we should get some sleep! 🙂 It was a night I don’t think I’ll forget, and a great way to end such a fun day of dancing!

I’m excited for my try-out lesson tomorrow with my potential amateur partner, and for my next private lesson with Anatoli on Friday!

Time for sleep!

xoxo,
Layla

Dear Diary,

I watched Mirko & Edita perform on Saturday night at the 2010 MIT Open, and I was almost in tears more than once. Their dancing was absolutely amazing. I liked their Viennese Waltz the best – and it turns out I was in the smallest minority! Most of the crowd liked their Tango the best, so they did an encore! I am very happy that I had the opportunity to watch them perform in person, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. 🙂

Monday I felt that I made a lot of progress on my barre work in Ballet. I also had a lot of fun working on leaps, even though my attitude leaps still look… sooo wrong! 🙂

Tonight I had a very wonderful lesson with Erik. I made a lot of mistakes, but I also feel like I began to realize a lot of things on a deeper level and be aware of some things I never was before. And I felt that there were some things that I did really well, too. I felt that I was really starting to follow him again for the first time in a couple of weeks, and the lesson really put a big smile on my face. He gave me a lot of constructive criticism, but none of it hurt, because I felt like I was really engaged and feeling and enjoying what we were doing, and that I could really make progress on the mistakes and be proud of the successes.

I hope that he felt the same way.

I’m excited for tomorrow: tap, yoga, more ballet, and another lesson with Erik!

xoxo,
Layla

I was lucky enough to watch Mirko & Edita perform last Saturday night at the 2010 MIT Open Ballroom Competition!

This video isn’t from that night, but it is the same routine they performed for their Waltz, which I felt was very beautiful.

My friends and I have been talking a lot about the meaning of the choreography… what do you think it means?

Here’s the same Tango routine they performed as well (I suggest you watch it in full before reading my comments below):

*Spoilers follow!*

I have to say – technically, I felt it was extremely impressive — yet, for the very same reason, I’m not sure how much I liked it.. It was so technically impressive that it fell into a sort of reverse-uncanny-valley for me at certain moments – the repetitive movements were so fast and so precise – so flawless, that I occasionally felt a strange sense; as if they were being done by a machine, not a person. (For example, between about 0:30-0:35, when her head obscured the light and she kicked, I felt this sense for a moment). I wonder if I’m the only one who felt this way?

After watching it a few more times, I think I really liked it overall. With each viewing, I feel less and less of that uncanny feeling that I felt so strongly the first couple of times. And I have to say, I really loved when Edita slapped Mirko, it was such a memorable ending!

They also performed an encore Tango, at the request of the audience (I was one of the few who voted for V.Waltz!). I think it was their most technically impressive dance of the night, because it was competitive dancing instead of show-dancing; but that isn’t to say it was better – their show-dances, while very different, were impressive, beautiful and touching.

This is the Quickstep routine they performed:

I thought the running split was impressive! 🙂

And their Foxtrot:

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the Viennese Waltz routine they performed at MIT on YouTube.. if anybody knows where it is, please post a link in the comments! Thanks! 🙂

Dear Dance Diary,

I had an amazing lesson today. I danced Viennese Waltz like never I’ve never danced it before! I was actually getting a little bit frightened because we were dancing so fast, and moving across the floor so much with each measure! It put a huge grin on my face, which hasn’t entirely gone away, even though it’s 6:30 am now, and I’m getting tired! It felt much better than the tears that have been with me for the past few days. Days like today are why I dance. I feel that days like today are part of why I live. <3

I recently made friends with another girl who dances Standard, and feels the same way about it that I do! That makes 3 of us now that I know of! It’s fun to hear other people speak about it with the same enthusiasm that I have when I think and talk about it!

I am trying out with an amateur Standard partner. He’s very tall — still a couple of inches taller than me even when I’m wearing 2.5″ heels! I’m so excited! I’ve been wishing to have somebody to practice with ever since I started Standard! So hopefully, things will work out, and we’ll both have a lot of fun and make a lot of progress together! ^_^

I might go to this dance camp this summer! I just found out about it tonight, from the potential-partner I’m trying out with, and I’m super-excited by the idea of it! A lot of really great professional dancers will be teaching some really interesting classes there, and it would be 5 days of dancing and socializing with a bunch of other aspiring dancers around my age! The whole idea of it brings back fond memories of studying abroad – the lively atmosphere that arises when a smallish group of people from all over come together to the same place, and for a period of time, study, eat, party and dorm together. There is one problem though – it’s scheduled to be the same weekend as the 2010 Manhattan DanceSport Championships, which I was feeling pretty excited about competing at! I’ll have to do some thinking about which one I want to do more!

Okay, one last story before I go to bed!!

A few weeks ago, while Erik and I were practicing our showcase routine at SuperShag, I heard one of the most beautiful pieces of modern Waltz music I’ve ever heard. It touched me so much that I instantly started dancing our waltz routine better! The song was called “It is you that I have loved,” from the movie Shrek, and Audrey and Peter had put it on to practice their Waltz routine. As we were dancing, I told Erik that I loved the song, and afterwards, I told Audrey many times how beautiful I thought it was. Later that week, during a Waltz class at Studio 665, the song came on again, and I exclaimed how much I loved it! The teacher said “OK, this one’s for Layla!” A few days after that, Audrey called me to tell me that she and Peter had decided to use a different song for their showcase – she knew that if anyone would care to know, it would be me! I asked Erik if we could change our music, but he said that it was too late, since the programs had already been printed. In reality, that was a good thing, because it wasn’t the right time for me to dance to this song – as much as I love the music and the lyrics, I believe that the song should say something true about me, something that I feel at the time that I perform to it. But now I know that one day, when I know that I have met that special person, this is the song that I will dance to. I will dance a very special dance, with a very special meaning in my heart – I will be dancing that dance for that special person. ^__^

Here is a YouTube video of the song, I hope you like it as much as I do!

Well, it’s way past my bedtime now! And I want to wake up in time for Ballet Blast and Zumba tomorrow afternoon, so…

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, good night,
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu,
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu!

xoxo,
Layla

This is one of the best TED talks I’ve ever seen! I think it’s really worth the watch.

The thesaurus might equate “disabled” with synonyms like “useless” and “mutilated,” but ground-breaking runner Aimee Mullins is out to redefine the word. Defying these associations, she hows how adversity — in her case, being born without shinbones — actually opens the door for human potential.

Here’s the video and some pictures from the showcase Erik and I performed on April 10th, 2010 at SuperShag. We danced an Open International Waltz to the theme from the movie Papillon (which I have never seen, but Erik liked it a lot).

Here are Arunas Bizokas & Katusha Demidova performing a Waltz at the World Super Stars Dance Festival in Japan, 2008… I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! ^__^

During the time when I should probably have been blogging the most, I haven’t blogged at all! -_-

What’s new…

A little over a month ago, I injured my back in my sleep >_<, and had to take 2.5 weeks off from Ballroom to recover – that was miserable! What’s worse is that I took a whole month off from Ballet and all other dancing, because I didn’t want to push it too hard too fast after I came back from my injury.

Ex-relationship drama.

I’ve eaten a lot of comfort food and watched more movies than I usually watch in a year. *sigh*

I read Snow Crash. I re-read The Time Machine. I read Andre Agassi’s autobiography. I finished most of For One More Day. I started reading The Myth of Sisyphus.

My back is much better now, but I’m still regaining the stamina and intensity I had before I got injured. My balance on my left foot has been a little bit off, though it seems to be getting better day by day.

Though my injury really wasn’t a help, I managed to learn an Open International Waltz routine, which I performed with Erik last Saturday.

I had a lesson with Mark Nocera at Studio 665, and we talked a lot about inspiration, and having the courage to do what you love, even if other people think you’re crazy. Hearing Mark’s story was really refreshing and encouraging. Like me, he also took a very unconventional approach to dedicating his time to dance at the expense of work and income.

I think that I have been making great progress with Anatoli, and I’m starting to be more relaxed with him each lesson. He’s teaching me to be the present, forget the past and the future, and have no fear of mistakes. Sometimes I feel that these lessons are just as important as technique, if not more-so.

I have a coaching lesson tomorrow with Erik and Diana McDonald, and I’m both excited and nervous.

I’ve been thinking of starting a more private diary. I’m not sure how that will change what I write about here in the future, but I’ve realized that maybe this isn’t the best place to write about certain things, because if I write about them here, I might feel the need to censor them based upon who might be reading, and how things might be misinterpreted. This post, for example, would have been written differently were I writing it in a private diary. I’ve got to think about this some more…